Happy Longing

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It’s the quiet moments that I sit and reflect upon us, Amber and I. She is currently away and I long to see her. Monday seems like a million years away but it will be a happy reunion, like the sun has begun to shine on me again. Yes, I know, it’s disgusting but that’s how I feel about my girl and I will never be ashamed of that.

I can’t help but get even more excited that Wildside is fast approaching. I’m ecstatic to see all the lovely friends that we made there last year and a bonus this year is my dear friend Jackie will be joining us for her first Wildside experience. I remember last year I was so scared going because I wasn’t sure if the girls would embrace a GG like me. It’s over 200 ladies that attend. They are wild, crazy, fun, and supportive. I honestly must say not only did they welcome me with open arms but they made me feel like family. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my adult life.

It will be an amazing week that I am sure will pass far quicker with Amber here than the weeks when she is not with me.

XOXO

My Anchor

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It’s always strange to me how things come to be in my life and how much I needed an anchor but didn’t realize it until I met Amber.  I was depressed, overwhelmed by life, frustrated by things I couldn’t control and contemplating suicide when I met Amber 13 months ago.  She quite literally saved my life when we first met and here I sit a week after my check up with my doctor thinking back to the moment he told me I’m insulin resistant and on my way to type 2 diabetes.  I remember  5 minutes before he walked in and said that to me how excited I was to get healthy for Amber so I can feel sexy again in hopes that I don’t lose her interest.  That visit changed my life instantly and as I always do with everything I shared my news with Amber.  Now, I am 40 pounds overweight but I have never thought of myself as having any real health issues so I was shocked and ultimately scared.  Amber being true to form calmly and assertively  said it was going to be okay, that we were already on a diet but she would do the new diet my doctor gave me so I wouldn’t do it alone.  She’d support me through this and we’d come out on top of it.  No carbs, no sugar, no soft drinks, no beer, I was in a panic.   She’s been so stoic through this, I truly do not know what I’d do without her.

We’ve been on this diet for almost 2 weeks, I’ve lost 12 pounds and I feel amazing.  It funny how if your life depends on something that your brain just accepts it and where I’ve struggled to say no in the past with dieting this time it seems easier for me.   So thank you Amber Lynne for being amazing to me and being my anchor.

A New Year, A New Us.

2017 has come and gone and Amber and I have officially known one another for over a year and made it to the one year mark where we realized it was going to be something more.  It’s been exciting, wonderful, and fattening, the fattening part especially for me.  They say it happens when you are happy and I guess they are right because I have never been so happy as I have been with Amber.  She truly is my everything.  I have enjoyed every moment with her even the very few not so great moments which all have led us to over enjoy food and drinks together and with our amazing friends.  BUT… enough is enough because now we are unhealthy and I plan to spend the rest of my life with her so I need us both to stick around for a while which leads us to 2018’s theme of getting healthy together and enjoying life while we do it.  Guess what… we have already started, lol. So here is the beginning adventures of Amber and Sheila’s journey to being healthy.
Now one thing I am is competitive and I love to run but not so much in the cold.  So I talked my good friend Candy, which wasn’t hard (wink, wink), into running in the Resolution 5k with me a few Saturday’s ago.  Did I train? No.  Is this a great way to do this? No. All of which has been pointed out by Amber (love you too Bae).  However, I tested myself by doing this and I did not run the whole thing but I did finish in under 40 mins.  Unfortunately, Amber was not there for my first Texas race but she was  there later in the day to celebrate with me.

Now what are we doing together to get the weight loss party started in 2018?  Cryolipolysis… yes we both had our treatments last night and it was for a lack of a better word, weird.  So basically two suction cups are placed on your belly and freezes those areas down to -5 degrees.  We should lose 5 pounds in the next week and 15 in the next three weeks as long as we drink water and are some what healthy.

We are also cutting carbs, cutting beer, and exercising.  I will keep you updated as we go along.
Here’s to a new us!
–xoxo

Detroit Invasion

July Detroit Invasion — river cruise

“Once more, a supreme test has to be faced. This time, the challenge is not to fight to survive but to fight to win the final victory for the good cause. Once again, what is demanded from us all is something more than courage, more than endurance. We need a revival of spirit – a new, unconquerable resolve.” – King George VI – April 6, 1944t

This blog is dedicated to Samantha Rogers, a woman I met through Amber last May in Las Vegas. She is brave, smart, caring and beautiful. Amber and I have developed much respect for her and look up to he. She is a true leader in the Transgender Community. On our way to her Detroit Invasion with 6 of our closest friends and our TG group, SERD, I happen to see a post on her Facebook page that included that powerful quote by King George VI from a speech he made on D-Day. On the plane I reflected on it, all the things I’m watching happen in our country towards such beautiful people, who are loving, caring, and want what everyone else in the United Sates has a right to… to be accepted and allowed to live a full happy life however they identify themselves without being treated with disdain.

I am unconditionally in love with Amber. I am proud to be with her and I hold my head high wherever we go. I view us as a power couple because together we can overcome anything. I am also hypersensitive when we go out as to how she is treated and super protective of her. This extends to the girls in SERD and my friends across the country. It is upsetting when anyone of them are discriminated against, harassed, or persecuted for being themselves. Everyone of my girls in Texas, and yes I consider them mine as they are 17 of my closest and dearest friends, have such good hearts. It’s not often but occasionally something will happen and they will share their bad, hurtful stories with me. I’ll admit, often I’m shocked, appalled, and angry. I’m quick to think how do we right this wrong, we should do something, I want action, I want justice… they are quick to say it wasn’t right but they don’t want to make a scene or they just ignored it. They say Sheila you are such a mother hen over us, we can take care of ourselves. Sheila don’t make a big deal out of it. I don’t always agree but I am ever respectful of their wishes but still I fight for them in my own way as King George VI stated… not for their survival, I want to fight for the final victory, them having equal rights and not having to be ashamed or oppressed, for them to be able to truly live.

Outside the Box

img_0563Looks. Glares. Smiles. What does it all mean? Should we be self conscience? Should we live in shame because we are different or have different types of relationships? I say no. I refuse to be shamed for loving someone who thinks outside the box. I’m just a girl who is culturally inside the box looking for an escape because it’s confining and suffocating. I admire women, transgender and genetic, that stand up to society and say there is no such thing as normal. I create my own normal which is one thing Amber and I have in common. We are proud, determined, and in love. I hope everyone can feel this kind of overwhelming emotion. So the next time you are out and someone looks at you strange, smile back at them so brilliantly they know they can’t still your joy!

Our Path to Happiness

As Amber and I grow in our relationship we are challenged by life, other people, and each other. I believe it’s called growing pains which can be exciting but it can also hurt. I truly believe all new relationships have their speed bumps and how we look at them decides the strength, longevity and the direction of the relationship. I say all the time everyone is perfect in their imperfections. We are all motivated by something in our lives that causes us to make good or bad decisions. Lying, hiding who you are, protecting the ones you love, or protecting yourself from being hurt sometimes back fires and you end up hurting the people you love the most. Don’t we all do that? How do you recover from that? Can we really judge others for something we all do?Empathy is the key. I personally feel that empathy is the amazing emotion that’s lacking in our culture. The ability to put yourself in another persons situation, trying to understand what motivated them and not slay others for their mistakes. It is said man is inherently evil but I believe man is inherently good; that choice and insecurity makes it hard to be consistently good. The transgender community has a lot of insecurity and fear. Are people going to judge me, hurt me, hurt my family, force me to do something before I’m ready, make me lose my livelihood because I know in my soul I’m unique, different and special. That I have a right to be who ever I want to make happy. I mean our country was founded on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is the opportunity given to each of us by our founding fathers that you have to take responsibility for and make it happen. That opportunity of happiness I intend to pursue. No matter what happens, I will hold onto what makes me happy which happens to be Amber. I will fight through hurt and sadness because I know the path we have chosen is a difficult one and I don’t expect it to be easy and fluff all the time. It is that path, the ones less taken that are the most rewarding. I sit here reflecting back on the last month with a smile because every tear and giggle has been with it. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Imperfectly perfect…

Relationships… what are they really about? Love, shared happiness, fun, cherished moments, heartaches, being there for each other no matter what… In the past few days I’ve had time to sit back and reflect over my life since I moved to Texas. I realize as much as I’m seen as being here for Amber the truth is she has been there much more for me. Most of our times together are happy bliss but there are moments we have to exhale, breathe, regroup and communicate. The fact that we can do that makes our relationship even more special. In her absences, the silence is deafening and I feel the walls closing in on me but when she comes home I’m excited and giddy. When I’m down she’s there to lift me up, always kind and supporting. She has an inner strength and wisdom that makes me a better person. It’s not perfect, but what is in this life?  What we have is what I’ve been searching for my entire life, this kind of imperfectly perfect relationship.

Crisp – Daily Post

IMG_0091I’m on the Paleo diet and at first I was like ok this might not work for me. My best friend who is a Paleo freak sent me a link to a blog that has recipes on it and OMG! I love ceviche and from this blog I made the best ceviche ever. It has shrimp, crisp green apples, fresh avocado, refreshing cucumbers and lots of herbs. It was heaven! What’s really cool is it was developed in Austin, TX… Watch out Amber, Paleo Sheila is coming home.

Recipe

Crisp
 

First Girl’s Night

Bonding
The day Amber and I agreed that I would do her makeup for our upcoming date was one of the most exciting and nerve wrecking things I had agreed to do in years. Amber, to me, is always elegantly put together from her hair and makeup to her clothes, she’s perfect just the way she was when I first met her. It made me panic as we approached the date night because I’m super picky about my hair and makeup, what if she hates how I do it was all I could think. You have to be someone really close to me to see me without my makeup and she was offering me that view of herself. The morning of our date night I woke up and had a new thought… the trust she must have in me to allow me to add to her canvas. This one thought made me smile, my jitters disappeared and I knew I would not disappoint her. Now, I have no daughters, just two boys whom I can’t get to wear collared shirts or brush their hair, they certainly have no desire to play dress up with me. But, that evening as I stroked her face with my brushes I fought tears that kept trying to creep up on me because I realized Amber was filling a void in my existence. It was much more than being romanced or girlfriends getting ready for a night on the town. It was me breathing life into my girl, helping her to bloom. It was me sharing makeup tips I’d learned and getting tips from her in return, stuff I had always imagined i would do with a daughter I will never have. She asked me questions, we laughed and we had actual girl time that was amazing and we looked amazing when we were done. That night changed something in me. It changed how I viewed Amber. It was truly a turning point in our relationship because trust and female friendship had been established. It was a bond, one that find grows stronger everyday.