Looks. Glares. Smiles. What does it all mean? Should we be self conscience? Should we live in shame because we are different or have different types of relationships? I say no. I refuse to be shamed for loving someone who thinks outside the box. I’m just a girl who is culturally inside the box looking for an escape because it’s confining and suffocating. I admire women, transgender and genetic, that stand up to society and say there is no such thing as normal. I create my own normal which is one thing Amber and I have in common. We are proud, determined, and in love. I hope everyone can feel this kind of overwhelming emotion. So the next time you are out and someone looks at you strange, smile back at them so brilliantly they know they can’t still your joy!
As Amber and I grow in our relationship we are challenged by life, other people, and each other. I believe it’s called growing pains which can be exciting but it can also hurt. I truly believe all new relationships have their speed bumps and how we look at them decides the strength, longevity and the direction of the relationship. I say all the time everyone is perfect in their imperfections. We are all motivated by something in our lives that causes us to make good or bad decisions. Lying, hiding who you are, protecting the ones you love, or protecting yourself from being hurt sometimes back fires and you end up hurting the people you love the most. Don’t we all do that? How do you recover from that? Can we really judge others for something we all do?Empathy is the key. I personally feel that empathy is the amazing emotion that’s lacking in our culture. The ability to put yourself in another persons situation, trying to understand what motivated them and not slay others for their mistakes. It is said man is inherently evil but I believe man is inherently good; that choice and insecurity makes it hard to be consistently good. The transgender community has a lot of insecurity and fear. Are people going to judge me, hurt me, hurt my family, force me to do something before I’m ready, make me lose my livelihood because I know in my soul I’m unique, different and special. That I have a right to be who ever I want to make happy. I mean our country was founded on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is the opportunity given to each of us by our founding fathers that you have to take responsibility for and make it happen. That opportunity of happiness I intend to pursue. No matter what happens, I will hold onto what makes me happy which happens to be Amber. I will fight through hurt and sadness because I know the path we have chosen is a difficult one and I don’t expect it to be easy and fluff all the time. It is that path, the ones less taken that are the most rewarding. I sit here reflecting back on the last month with a smile because every tear and giggle has been with it. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Relationships… what are they really about? Love, shared happiness, fun, cherished moments, heartaches, being there for each other no matter what… In the past few days I’ve had time to sit back and reflect over my life since I moved to Texas. I realize as much as I’m seen as being here for Amber the truth is she has been there much more for me. Most of our times together are happy bliss but there are moments we have to exhale, breathe, regroup and communicate. The fact that we can do that makes our relationship even more special. In her absences, the silence is deafening and I feel the walls closing in on me but when she comes home I’m excited and giddy. When I’m down she’s there to lift me up, always kind and supporting. She has an inner strength and wisdom that makes me a better person. It’s not perfect, but what is in this life? What we have is what I’ve been searching for my entire life, this kind of imperfectly perfect relationship.
Lol, in an effort to lose weight, Amber and I have sworn off our favorite guilty pleasure, sorry Starbucks.
Uniform, per google means, not changing in form or character; remaining the same in all cases and at all times. In other words, it’s being consistent. Who doesn’t need some consistency in their life? In thinking about this word I realize my life isn’t “uniform” nor do I want it to be the same old thing year after year. I like change and the curve balls life throws at me. I think of Amber and how if the universe hadn’t thrown a curve ball into my boring, uniform life then I never would have met her. Are our lives perfect? No…. Are we always happy? Of course not… Do we love each other insanely? Absolutely. Is she the best thing that’s happened to me? Hell, yes! So, thank you Universe! I’ll take the curve balls and change every time, only now I get to take them with my Pretty Girl.
The day Amber and I agreed that I would do her makeup for our upcoming date was one of the most exciting and nerve wrecking things I had agreed to do in years. Amber, to me, is always elegantly put together from her hair and makeup to her clothes, she’s perfect just the way she was when I first met her. It made me panic as we approached the date night because I’m super picky about my hair and makeup, what if she hates how I do it was all I could think. You have to be someone really close to me to see me without my makeup and she was offering me that view of herself. The morning of our date night I woke up and had a new thought… the trust she must have in me to allow me to add to her canvas. This one thought made me smile, my jitters disappeared and I knew I would not disappoint her. Now, I have no daughters, just two boys whom I can’t get to wear collared shirts or brush their hair, they certainly have no desire to play dress up with me. But, that evening as I stroked her face with my brushes I fought tears that kept trying to creep up on me because I realized Amber was filling a void in my existence. It was much more than being romanced or girlfriends getting ready for a night on the town. It was me breathing life into my girl, helping her to bloom. It was me sharing makeup tips I’d learned and getting tips from her in return, stuff I had always imagined i would do with a daughter I will never have. She asked me questions, we laughed and we had actual girl time that was amazing and we looked amazing when we were done. That night changed something in me. It changed how I viewed Amber. It was truly a turning point in our relationship because trust and female friendship had been established. It was a bond, one that find grows stronger everyday.
Robert Frost is one of my favorite poets. The first poem I ever read of his was “The Road Not Taken” written in 1915 just before America entered WWI in 1917. I didn’t realize until quite a while later what it really meant, I just knew it touched me.
What’s interesting about this poem and endears Frost to me is that the poem was actually a joke at the expense of his good friend Edward Thomas whom was also a poet. Edward was a very indecisive man and after a walk in the woods with Frost one day Frost wrote “The Road Not Taken” as a joke. Frost read the poem to some college students and they loved it but took it seriously. Frost was quoted as saying, “I’m never more serious than when joking.” Edward did not take the meaning of this poem as a joke when Frost sent it to him. He took it as serious reflection to take decisive action and joined the military to fight in the war. He would die two months later in France.
The point behind this blog tonight is how powerful words are and how everyone’s perception of them are different. The whole meaning of it is a single decision can change a person’s life. This poem means something different to me now, it reflects my decision to accept the most vulnerable parts of a man I love and how it’s given me the most beautiful woman I could ever desire. Amber is truly my “pretty girl.” So here’s a poem for her…
The Road Not Taken — by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Welcome to the sensual world of Amber and Sheila Lynne. We invite you to follow our journey through our writings, photos, and videos. We hope our happiness and love of each other spills over to you and makes you restless to follow our beautiful journey.
In this blog we invite you to walk along the path we are taking as we learn to navigate life in a world that does not understand the transgender culture. Add in that I, Sheila, am a “genetic girl” in love with a man who has a another side, a pretty girl side completely opposite his everyday masculinity. What’s unique with our situation is I am in love with his feminine side, Amber. Is this easy, well the answer is complicated, it is and it isn’t. We have so many people happy for us and they have so many questions that I feel compelled to share our experiences.
So welcome to our story, our life! Please feel free to share it with others and I encourage you to contact me with comments or questions.
July Detroit Invasion — river cruise
“Once more, a supreme test has to be faced. This time, the challenge is not to fight to survive but to fight to win the final victory for the good cause. Once again, what is demanded from us all is something more than courage, more than endurance. We need a revival of spirit – a new, unconquerable resolve.” – King George VI – April 6, 1944t
This blog is dedicated to Samantha Rogers, a woman I met through Amber last May in Las Vegas. She is brave, smart, caring and beautiful. Amber and I have developed much respect for her and look up to he. She is a true leader in the Transgender Community. On our way to her Detroit Invasion with 6 of our closest friends and our TG group, SERD, I happen to see a post on her Facebook page that included that powerful quote by King George VI from a speech he made on D-Day. On the plane I reflected on it, all the things I’m watching happen in our country towards such beautiful people, who are loving, caring, and want what everyone else in the United Sates has a right to… to be accepted and allowed to live a full happy life however they identify themselves without being treated with disdain.
I am unconditionally in love with Amber. I am proud to be with her and I hold my head high wherever we go. I view us as a power couple because together we can overcome anything. I am also hypersensitive when we go out as to how she is treated and super protective of her. This extends to the girls in SERD and my friends across the country. It is upsetting when anyone of them are discriminated against, harassed, or persecuted for being themselves. Everyone of my girls in Texas, and yes I consider them mine as they are 17 of my closest and dearest friends, have such good hearts. It’s not often but occasionally something will happen and they will share their bad, hurtful stories with me. I’ll admit, often I’m shocked, appalled, and angry. I’m quick to think how do we right this wrong, we should do something, I want action, I want justice… they are quick to say it wasn’t right but they don’t want to make a scene or they just ignored it. They say Sheila you are such a mother hen over us, we can take care of ourselves. Sheila don’t make a big deal out of it. I don’t always agree but I am ever respectful of their wishes but still I fight for them in my own way as King George VI stated… not for their survival, I want to fight for the final victory, them having equal rights and not having to be ashamed or oppressed, for them to be able to truly live.
I’m on the Paleo diet and at first I was like ok this might not work for me. My best friend who is a Paleo freak sent me a link to a blog that has recipes on it and OMG! I love ceviche and from this blog I made the best ceviche ever. It has shrimp, crisp green apples, fresh avocado, refreshing cucumbers and lots of herbs. It was heaven! What’s really cool is it was developed in Austin, TX… Watch out Amber, Paleo Sheila is coming home.
Mysterious… only in New Orleans could Amber and I capture such a drunken magical picture involving a trash can. This happen to be our first weekend together which made it even more magical.